Micro Men, BBC4, Thursday 8 October 2009

For a certain generation of computer gamers, the mere mention of names like Jet Set Willy or Repton are likely to induce a misty-eyed nostalgia, in the same way Sonic the Hedgehog or Super Mario do for gamers brought up on Sega and Nintendo.

Before the invasion of the Japanese gaming giants in the late 80s and early 90s, Britain already had a home-grown home computing heritage to boast of, as last night’s Micro Men reminded us.

Shown as part of BBC Four’s Electric Revolution season, Micro Men took an affectionate look at the early 80s home computing rivalry between Sir Clive Sinclair (played by Alexander Armstrong) and his ex-employee Chris Curry (Martin Freeman), the entrepreneurial masterminds behind the Sinclair and Acorn companies respectively. The story focused on the race between the early home computer pioneers to gain the dominant market share, pivoting on a lucrative BBC literacy project that would see the victor’s machine in many of the UK’s schools.

Armstrong’s portrayal of Sinclair was particularly outstanding, playing him as a temperamental tyrant, prone to violent outbursts at anyone who questioned his visionary genius (at one point you expected Armstrong to hiss “kill them!” down the phone to his secretary, à la his Blowfeld-type character on The Armstrong and Miller Show). In one memorable scene, Sinclair tracks down his former colleague in a pub and assaults him with a rolled-up newspaper that carried an Acorn advert that dared to highlight the high return rate of faulty ZX Spectrums.

It was fun to see the period of the time so accurately evoked. This was a world where 48K RAM was a hot selling point and faulty connectors were fixed with Blu-Tack; where bosses and boffins chain-smoked in pokey, beige offices and ate takeaways with screwdrivers and soldering irons as cutlery; and where, in the face of nearly three million people out of work, Britain had a growth industry to be proud of (as evidenced by stock footage of Margaret Thatcher showing off a Sinclair computer to the Japanese prime minister).

There was also some lovely retrospective jokes, such as Sinclair scoffing at the notion that home computers could replace going to the supermarket or bank, and Curry’s bank manager, played by Peter Davidson (who, during the period Micro Men is set in, was playing Doctor Who) describing Curry’s career choice as “very science fiction”.

Inevitably, in typical boom and bust fashion, the glory days were not to last: Sinclair sold his computing division to Alan Sugar’s Amstrad in 1986 and Acorn sold its majority shares to Italian company Olivetti. In a somewhat poignant final scene, we saw Sir Clive driving defiantly down the road in his famous flop, the C5 electric tricycle, as he is overtaken either side by two massive juggernauts bearing the names Microsoft and Hewlett Packard.

Paul Bovey

I love this story, and not just because it was a victory for the underdog against a notoriously litigious global corporation.

I love the fact that the owners won after claiming that the ‘Mc’ prefix of their name stood for ‘Malaysian Chicken’, despite the letter ‘c’ being lower case, and despite the fact that the typeface of the McCurry logo manages to resemble not just one but two famous high street logos.

Breaking news: I hear another well-known fast food chain has lost its lawsuit against an Israeli branch of Bagel King, which is famous for its Whopping bagel.

Actually, that’s not true, but wouldn’t it be great if it was?

Paul Bovey

One of my bugbears is journalists who use the simile ‘on acid’ in their articles. It’s normally used in cultural reviews to describe a particularly ‘far out’ performer or piece of art, even though it’s now considered both inaccurate and clichéd.

Such lazy journalism was skewered brilliantly by comedians Stewart Lee and Richard Herring in their series This Morning With Richard Not Judy, in a scene that purported to simulate the scene of veteran comedian Norman Wisdom ‘on acid’. This was in response to an Evening Standard reporter who had used (or quoted, the reporter later claimed) the phrase to describe the physical comedy stylings of Lee Evans. But instead of a slapstick, energetic, bug-eyed dynamo, the resultant scene saw an ill, confused old man wandering slowly around a room.

Just as bad as ‘on acid’ is ‘like so-and-so and so-and-so in a blender’ or ‘like such-and-such and such-and-such in a lift‘. I’m not saying that there’s no room for similes in creative journalism any more; I’m just saying let’s create some new ones. Here’s some of my suggestions:

Like Stephen Hawkings on sugar-free Red Bull
Like Kerry Katona on chicken drumsticks
Like Brian Blessed on a noise abatement order
Like Michael Barrymore on television
Like Jennifer Lopez on the rebound
Like Peter Andre on fire
Like Rocket From the Crypt on a rope
Like Yoko Ono on a yoke.

For Belgian band dEUS, The Ideal Crash marked a glossier, more commercial production than its two predecessors, Worst Case Scenario and In A Bar, Under The Sea. Fortunately, this didn’t mean the band had lost its identity; there was still the same crunching guitar noise and dissonant jazz flourishes. But now these elements were done with more subtlety, with a broader musical palette (synths, harmoniums, theremins) and a clearer sense of melody (summed up by Mojo magazine as “Semisonic go Beefheart”).

Upon release in March 1999, The Ideal Crash received plenty of positive reviews from the music press: Q and Select both awarded the album 4 out of 5 and the NME rated it 8 out of 10. Yet despite the initial acclaim, the album had disappeared off most critics’ radar come December and failed to appear on any of the major music publications’ albums of the year lists; this coming in a year not blessed with definitive album releases.

Paul Bovey

Last night saw the final 60-minute special of the brilliant Pulling on BBC Three, after the channel announced it was axing the cult sitcom last year. For anyone who’s never seen the show, it follows the dysfunctional relationships of three female housemates, Donna, Karen and Louise. In the previous two series, episodes have mined some pretty dark areas for a sitcom (think Sex and the City as conceived by Joe Orton), including suicide attempts, copious drug abuse, stalkers, flashers and feline euthanasia.

For any bloke that’s ever suffered from the dreaded ‘man cold’, only to receive resolute contempt and accusations of protracted exaggeration from your wife, girlfriend or significant other, prepare to rejoice in vindication.

According to a story on the BBC website, it’s been scientifically proven that women’s immune systems are significantly stronger than men’s, meaning that they’re able to stave off colds and flu more easily.

A Canadian study has found that the female sex hormone oestrogen is key in boosting the inflammatory process that helps ward off viruses and bacteria. This means women suffer less from the symptoms of colds and flu.

In addition, Dr Lesley Knapp, of the University of Cambridge, said: “Women are well known to be able to respond more robustly to infections, and to recover more quickly than men.”

So, ladies, next time us chaps are supposedly wallowing in a mountain of snotty Kleenex and self-pity, just remember: you’re tougher than us, okay?

I’ve just been watching a trailer for the new BBC Three documentary series Undercover Princes. Basically, the programme follows three princes - one from South Africa, one from India and one from Sri Lanka - who are all bachelors and looking for love, coming to England to develop their dating skills and perhaps meet the partners of their dreams. The only stipulation is that they don’t let on they’re from royal stock.

Now, maybe it’s just me but the premise for BBC Three’s new documentary is slightly reminiscent of the 1988 John Landis movie Coming to America. Surely the BBC documentary making department (if such a thing exists) can’t be that stumped for fresh ideas that they have to plunder 80s fish out of water comedies starring Eddie Murphy?

Is this trend set to continue? If you’re reading this BBC Three commissioners, I’ve got an idea for a new documentary based on Trading Places. It’s called Going for Broke and involves examining the nature versus nurture argument by swapping around the lives of a wealthy commodities broker and a broke street vagrant to see how their lives turn out.

Merry new year!

Thanks to Tim for the link, just a little something to make you smile (hopefully).

The world’s first timesculpture advert, from Toshiba… so it says on Youtube. Basically think the matrix meet Daft Punks around the world video, only with more loops and lots of spinning, very clever.

This claims to be the first excel based music video, its a snippet of an AC/DC song “rock n roll train”. It was designed for people who cant stream video etc… apparently. That or some good advertising to co-incide with the release of their new album Black Ice. Anyways its pretty cool and there is a video on youtube so you dont even have to download it…